A limiting belief is a belief that you hold about yourself which limits you in some way. It could be a belief that you are not able to achieve something, your may feel you are not desirable of being loved by somebody or your chances of getting a job you really want. If you’re believing something which puts a limitation on yourself, that’s a limiting beliefs. These beliefs can put constraints on you and your life and make you feel as though you’re less than other people or you won’t accomplish your goals.
Where do Limiting Beliefs come from?
Well we didn’t just wake up one day and decided we are going to hold certain beliefs about ourselves. The beliefs we hold are as a consequence of our environment. From the moment we are born we a learning. Research shows that children are like a sponge and soak everything up. Everything that was said or done to them is stored in the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is our internal memory bank, it knows everything and never forgets.
That is why they say that we have to be careful in the things we say to children as there are very impressionable. As children are growing and learning about their environment, they are developing and learning how to deal with life. The only way they know how to do certain things is by imprinting what they see or hear.
Words are very powerful and if a child is around someone or watches tv that shows negative images all the time, then the child will take on that persona and mirror what they see or hear from their environment.
Examples of limiting beliefs
If you’re starting to think that this sounds familiar and you might have some limiting beliefs, let’s take a look at some common examples.
“I can’t do it”: This is one of the most common limiting beliefs and can creep into our lives when we are children. If you hear children saying this, it’s important to correct them with a positive line. This could either be, “You can’t do it…yet!” or you can reinforce the idea that they can do it! You see if they constantly tell themselves they cannot do it, then that is what they believe and will never want to try.
When I was a school I hated going swimming. We had to go every week as part of the school curriculum, I hated it because I could not swim and I was scared that I would drown. I would get jealous of the other kids as they seemed to have so much fun, but there was I not moving from the edge. Well this went on for years. Then I had my kids.
Things changed for me drastically after my son who might have been around three at the time nearly drowned. We were on holiday and we had an apartment which had a private pool. I would just sit on the edge watching the kids have fun. My son was playing with other kids and got into trouble, I didn’t know what to do, but luckily enough for me our neighbour jumped in and saved him. From that day on I vowed never again will I be on holiday and not be able to swim.
When I became pregnant with my daughter I started swimming lessons and really enjoyed it. I began to love learning the various techniques and as soon as my daughter was born, she was in the water with me too. So the point was because I had told myself from a little girl that I couldn’t do it, that stayed fixated in my head and I had no yearning to want to learn either. It took me nearly loosing my son for me to change that narrative.
Another popular limiting belief many of us have is “I’m not good enough”:
Whether it’s our qualifications, our bodies, our minds, our faces or our salaries, not feeling good enough is a common emotion which we are all likely to have experienced at some point. Again this feeling was imprinted on you in your early years. Maybe a teacher at school told you you’re not good enough to be in the sports team, or maybe you had a passion for singing but they felt you was not choir material. The hurt that is felt at being rejected can be very severe. Those feelings then get lodge in the subconscious mind and work as a trigger. So whenever you want to do something, it may trigger you unconsciously to not want to do it for fear of being judged or told you are not good enough. This feeling, however, will be much stronger in your mind than in the mind of anyone else around you, so try to turn this around and stay positive rather than being negative and limiting yourself.
Why are limiting beliefs bad?
You might think you’re being realistic, and there is definitely a lot to be said for realism and maintaining a sensible course of action. However, limiting beliefs are different because they don’t even offer the opportunity to achieve your goals. Rather than reinforcing positive emotions and encouraging yourself to work harder towards a goal, you’re giving up and telling yourself that you can’t do it, you won’t be good enough, or somebody else will do it instead.
Limiting beliefs can stop you from going after what you really want, and in the long run, they can severely damage your self-esteem and confidence. You’ll start to regret letting your limiting beliefs take over, which in turn could create even more limiting beliefs.
In the end, letting go of your limiting beliefs and changing the narrative can help you to understand more about yourself and go for the goals that you thought were out of reach. However, it is not as easy as saying just let them go, because you have to understand the root and where it actually originated from in the first place.
The best way to change the narrative in your head is to sit in a quiet place and ask your subconscious mind where did that belief come from? Then ask if it is true. You may find that you have accomplished many things in your life so that narrative is not true and may just be your those little voices in your head getting in the way.